experience matters

People go to high school reunions to evaluate other people. I pick evaluate because ‘judge me’ seems a little harsh but lets face it, we are a fickle society.

I tend to play amateur psychiatrist so the thought of walking around a room of people I used to know and of whom I have 20-year-old opinions of was appealing. I looked forward to forming new, cynical & unbiased opinions. Enter Facebook.

I didn’t receive an invitation to the reunion. I was friended by HEHS Class of 1989. Within two weeks I went from having zero high school friends to about 50. That’s a good thing, right? Not so fast. Would Facebook remove the curiosity factor? Would it jade me more than I was already jaded?

I attended the reunion a few weeks ago. It was made up of two separate events. On Friday night was what was billed as a Pre-Reunion Reunion at the restaurant of a classmate. Cash bar, no name tags (which lead to me saying “Who the hell is that?” a lot) and good food. The reunion itself was the next night. Open bar with name tags (but $90 to get in). What is the difference between the two? Friday night I got home at 3:00am. Saturday night I got home at 11:00pm. Enough said.

The above pictures show the ‘Then and Now’. The THEN is with friend Anne and her acid washed jeans. Anne, by the way, helps run a great kids welfare organization here in Chicago. The NOW is with Miller–no first name–after she stole my Lou Mal’s pizza. I thought about wearing the tank top to the reunion but it was in the laundry. And I’ll set the over under on hair comments at four.

A post in the Times blames Facebook for taking away some of the mystery around the reunion. I agree. Other than actually seeing the person, which you can do on FB as well, how much more do you need to know? “Hey Mike, I haven’t seen you in 20 years. How is your wife Michelle? How are things at Motorola? How is your daughter Lauren? I thought what she said yesterday about the banana was hilarious and I’m SO glad you had an awesome time at Jay-Z last night!”

I found a very cool post that says that FB actually increases reunion attendance. Included in the post is a small sample size of FB groups built around high school reunions. My year, 1989, has the highest percentage of fans against total class size, 22%, of any year before 2004. So, do you need to attend the “I’ve peaked and I’m kidding myself party” (Gross Pointe Blank) or is Facebook enough? I pose a series of questions, executions and outcome of FB or Reunion:

Q: How does my ex look?

A: Don’t know. She wasn’t there probably for fear of falling back in love with me. Look at me, I’m handsome!

FB or Reunion: Reunion. A picture says a lot, but not enough.

Q: What happened to the kid I got in a fight with freshman year?

A: Nothing. Married. Works for some company. Not exciting at all.

FB or Reunion: FB. This is what the ‘Info” tab is for.

Q: What happened to Herb Williams?

A: At the time no one knows where Herb was. However, we have since found him and he is a fireman in downtown Chicago. He was also the first guy I knew who carried a condom in his wallet.

FB or Reunion: Reunion. Facebook is not the milk carton of the Internet.

Therefore, based on that very scientific experiment, Facebook is not enough. Here are guidelines so you can use FB to make your reunion experience more enjoyable:

Break the Ice: Use Facebook to reconnect and to break the ice so you don’t walk into your reunion looking like the only straight guy in a gay bar.

Friend Away: Unless you hold a very serious grudge against a former classmate (examples would be sleeping with your significant other, toilet papering your house or locking you in your locker), friend everybody. It gives you more to talk about and access to more people.

Look, Don’t Touch: Everyone puts pictures on FB. Feel free to experiment with voyeurism and check out your old classmates without commenting. If they track who visits their pages you can use it as playful banter at the reunion.

Spread The Gospel: Tell the people who believe they are anti-establishment that they are not that cool anymore, if they ever were. Facebook is not a fad. Get them on board so when they stand at the reunion holding their martini they have more to talk about then kids, marriage and work. That gets old. Fast.

Now go forward and judge… I mean “evaluate.”

Last 5 posts by Scott Shamberg

• Get Schooled: Googley Lessons from the rapping author. – August 30th, 2010
• Breaking News: Front Page or Top Tweet? – August 24th, 2010
• Vacation in the Digital Age: “I’m out of office, but if you need to reach me…” – June 18th, 2010
• The Secret Sauce of Social Media Marketing? 3 Common Client Questions Answered. – May 19th, 2010
• The Digital Quarterback – February 5th, 2010

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